Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
