didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
