Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
