What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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