I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
