I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Found the puke drawer
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
