Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
