If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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