You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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