Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
