Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
NoShamevember. You game?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
