Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
