ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
