I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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