You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
