Moan for me like Helen Keller
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
