where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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