Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
