I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
