their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
