She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize