you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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