He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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