so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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