It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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