No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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