I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
