I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
