He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
