You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
