"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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