your parents love me but you hate me
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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