If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
