come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
