Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize