OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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