I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
