I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
