apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
