so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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