What a fucking waste of an outfit
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
