i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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