Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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