So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
