she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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