The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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