why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
