whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
