Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
