My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
