I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
