Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
