and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
