She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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