Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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