you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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