In the future we'll all be gay
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
