I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
