??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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