garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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