Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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