My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
