How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize