So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize