you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
