If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
