I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
