its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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