she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My dick has a subreddit
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
