just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
