he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize