Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
