just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
