I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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