i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
