I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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