no, he came in my armpit
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
