I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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