im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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