FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Randomize
