i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
