Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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