True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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