i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize