I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
