Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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