I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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