Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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