I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
