chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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